Monday, August 20, 2007

A Few Life Lessons

I had reason to consider a few of these this weekend, and then entertained myself by coming up with a few others. Feel free to add to the list.

Don’t wear wrap skirts. It’s highly unlikely you live in a place without wind, and it only takes a little breeze to send that baby up in the air. I learned this while wearing a wrap skirt in Piccadilly Circus. And the whole world saw my underwear.

Do tie your shoelace BEFORE you get on the escalator.

Don’t get in an elevator with a claustrophobic. Even for a short ride.

Do get yourself a bug wand if you hate dealing with bugs and spiders and cannot guarantee that someone will be with you 100% of the time to deal with them for you. My sister got me mine. It’s good against everything except these which are too big and heavy for the bug wand. For those you need a scream that can carry several miles and brings help to your side at a dead sprint. Nothing less will do.

Do not wear flip flops with a tailored suit.

Do not wear clothes that have words on the butt. Really. No one wants to read your butt, not even if you are a cheerleader or a rap star.

Do choose your travel companions wisely. If there’s any chance at all that the two of you will come to blows, or that one of you may crack up, say, on a camel ranch outside of Alice Springs in the middle of a major backpacking tour, then perhaps you shouldn’t travel together.

Do get the insurance if you rent a car. It is SO worth it.

Do be wary of getting a haircut ‘no one else has.’ There may be a VERY good reason for that.

Don’t take your non-waterproof digital camera to the water’s edge. If it goes in, it will never click again. I learned that the hard way and am still in mourning.

Don’t tell your nephews you work in a museum ‘right on the water’ and expect them to think you work on the waterfront. They will assume you work in a museum that floats around the Boston Harbor. (We’re a literal-minded family.)

Do make your own cookies. They’re just BETTER.

Do listen to Willie Nelson sing. Just do it, people. You can thank me later.

Don’t stick a dead snake down someone’s shirt. No matter what arguments you may use to persuade yourself, ultimately, it’s just not something you should do. Ever.

Do make stuff. Use your hands. Whether it’s baking, writing, cooking, sculpting, knitting, wood-working, bead-working, making order out of chaos, taking pictures, making music, painting, gardening – whatever it is. Making stuff - for yourself or for others - is just good for you.


Jeana said...

Don't eat a big bowl of Fiber One right before a long car trip.

These are great!

Geekwif said...

Don't chase vinegar potato chips with a glass of milk.

Pumpkin said...

Firstly, I want one of those bug vacuums....and I don't want to EVER see a centipede-type thing running around my house......I think if I did, I'd just throw my child at it and run........okay maybe not, he'd probably think it looked tasty!

Secondly....I love the life lessons...and have two of my own to add....

Never wear white socks with dark's just....ick!

Never, under any circumstances, think it is okay to wear socks with sandals (of any kind) is just wrong!

Oh, and thirdly (And this is mainly aimed at some British folk).....if you go abroad on not spend the entire time complaining that there are "NO McDONALDS!"'re abroad people, try some of the local dishes and culture...otherwise stick to Blackpool and Brighton!

Great post hunny, and thanks for putting me as a favourite read...I know you can't see me, but I'm blushing!