Do the Shoes Give Autographs?

Saturday morning I had an illuminating experience. I was apparently in the presence of a Famous Person, but had NO IDEA who she was.

It happened like this.

On my way to New Orleans I flew from Boston to Newark. I had a short midday layover there, and decided to use that time to eat lunch. Surveying my options – McDonalds, Ben & Jerry’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, Sbarro – I decided that if I wanted any vegetables at all, they’d have to come from the Wok n Roll stir-fry place. I got in line behind 12 other people and started eyeing the chicken and broccoli.

Until The Shoes caught my eye. About 5 feet from me, leaning against a column, a young woman with long tan legs was wearing a pair of shoes that really should have had their own spotlight and theme song. They were beautiful. And right up front I’ll just confess these shoes were miles out of my league – not only would I never be able to afford shoes like that, I would never have an occasion to wear them, NEVER, and also, if I tried them on, my feet would probably cramp and I’d make it about two teetery steps before I toppled over and broke a bone (mine, or possibly someone else’s). These shoes compelled me to love them despite all that.

The Shoes were some sort of satin brocade in a perfect harmony of beautiful colors, lavender, gold, mango, light green, silver. Not exactly flowered, but patterned. They were pointy, and had extremely high heels. Believe me, they were MUCH more than the sum of their parts.

I had forgotten the chicken and broccoli eons ago, and was lost in a haze of shoe adoration, when a woman came up to the young woman wearing The Shoes and said, “Excuse me, are you So-and-so?” I didn’t hear the name she said, and at first didn’t recognize what was going on. When the girl said yes, and agreed to sign an autograph for the woman’s teenaged daughter, I paid more attention. The Girl Wearing The Shoes looked like a pretty teenager to me: khaki shorts, orange shirt, denim jacket, enormous sunglasses, pretty tan freckled doll features, big hoop earrings. The sunglasses were so big I didn’t see how the woman could have recognized her, but then, I had no idea who the Famous Person was. To me she was just the Girl Wearing The Shoes.

Four or five other people came over and asked for autographs, and one woman even held out her palm pilot so the Famous Person could sing something into it. I turned to pay for my chicken and broccoli and when I turned around The Shoes were gone. They’re only a pleasant memory now. And then I realized I was stuck with a mystery. I had no idea who the Famous Person was, and also, I faced the unpleasant realization that I must be approaching Old Fogeyhood to be so far out of it.

Anyway, I described all of this to MKA and she said (after the part where she urged me to skip the description of the shoes, I refused and expressed outrage at her heathenism, and we forgave each other) she thought it might be JoJo.

I looked up JoJo online since I had only ever heard her name and wasn’t sure what or who she was. Turns out, The Girl Who Wore The Shoes was indeed JoJo. She was very polite to her fans, and judging from the 5 notes she sang into that weird woman’s palm pilot, her ability to carry a tune is still intact, which bodes well for her musical future. Also – and this is the most important – the girl has *killer* taste in shoes AND she can actually wear them. I have to say, I think that young woman’s going places. In The Shoes. Lucky her.