Sunday, February 17, 2008

Rodent Redux

Dear Mouse,

Yay! You're back! I've really missed you. It just hasn't been the same here since your last visit.

I know my owner feels the same. She stood transfixed when we both spotted you on the stove last night. When she did finally speak, I noticed she used that special voice she reserves only for you. And before we went off to bed, she left you a goody bag that smelled like peanut butter. So thoughtful!

Just so you know, I'm ready to play. I've been practicing my moves on fuzzy soft toys, but when you're ready I feel sure I can beat you at Chase and Hide & Seek. (House rules: I always Chase, you always Hide.)

Can't wait! See you in the kitchen tonight. You'll have my undivided attention.

Love,

Wilkie


*

Good grief. It's you again – vile, repulsive, gross... Why are you here? Is this a plague? A curse? I'm onto you early this time. You're going down. I will not be invaded and harassed. I set a trap. Body count is now 1. I set another trap. You should relocate, dude. I don't care how cute you were in Cinderella – I don't want you in my house.

My cats may not know how to kill you, but I do. And besides, if they get a-hold of you, you'll be played to death over many days. Seriously. This is not a mouse-friendly home.

Get out of here. You disgust me.

LaLa

*

Hey Wilkie – What are you staring at? LaLa, when's dinner?

Sandpaper kisses,

Dickens

2 comments:

HolyMama! said...

you really need charlo to come play backup, wilks.

Geekwif said...

Dear Wilkie,

Dead mice are better than live ones. I know, I know. The live ones are SO much more fun to play with, but the dead ones get you a LOT of attention. Trust me, if you manage to kill that mouse cleanly, LaLa will be very grateful and will probably even give you a reward.

Just a hint from one hunter to another.

Beethoven

P.S. You might want to tell Dickens to lay off the catnip.

B